the other side

I am sorry for all you've been through during 2018. I am sorry for all the broken promises you had in the beginning of the year. I am sorry for the nights you stayed up alone, trembling and crying silently. I am sorry for wasting your time on the wrong people for the sake of something new. I am sorry for ignoring you, giving up for too many times. I am sorry for not even know how to please you, how to get chill, and stuff. I am sorry for getting you trapped in your walls. I am sorry for keep making you believe that happiness is a myth. I am sorry for letting you lose your trust and fill your head with what if's. I am sorry for this kind of life you have to live, seems unbearable but you have to keep going. Now here we are, survived the whole year. Be strong, since 2019 is coming.

"Since Christmas was over, are you really not coming and giving me something sweet? Again? I am not saying that I've been a good one for the whole year, but... What does 'good' means, anyway? To whom? When it comes about personal, like self-love, I guess it's acceptable for you not to count me in. But I cried a lot this year. No, it's even way too much. Thought I deserve a thing or two to cheer me up. No? Ahh..  Is it because I keep saying that 'happiness is a myth'? As if I refuse the fact that you exist? Okay whatever with being good and stuff. I just love the way you look, anyway. You make me survive December and I thank you for that."

Hari itu aku menangis. Lalu kamu datang dan aku merasa bahwa semua bisa baik-baik saja. Hari ini aku menangis. Saat kamu pergi dan aku merasa bahwa semua bisa baik-baik saja.